Some birthdays are easier to celebrate than others, and if I’m honest, this was not one I was particularly looking forward to.
In the weeks leading up to it, I received another job rejection, faced unexpected house repairs in Dallas, and learned that a nonbeliever whom I had been ministering to couldn’t make it to my birthday gathering—even though I had deeply hoped she would meet my Christian friends. There were also moments when I felt forgotten and unacknowledged. Moreover, at 38, I never imagined I would still be unemployed for this long or still be single.
Needless to say, I wasn’t exactly in a celebratory mood.
Yet through it all, I sensed that God wanted me to use this season not to focus on myself, but to encourage others who are walking through disappointment, grief, uncertainty, and long seasons of waiting.
There have been moments where I deeply related to Paul’s words in 2 Corinthians 1:8: “For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself.”
And yet, even in this season, I have so much to thank God for.
Last year, God allowed me to go on a mission trip to Thailand. He has given me opportunities to volunteer weekly at Children’s Hunger Fund, minister to a nonbeliever, and encourage younger believers in their faith. He has also blessed the social media pages I’ve been pouring into, growing them to over 3.8K followers on Instagram and more than 1K on TikTok. He graciously provided for me to attend the IBCD biblical counseling conference by prompting a kind person to cover my entire registration cost. One unexpected reminder of God’s redemption came when I won an engagement ring raffle last year at the same jewelry store where my ex and I had once looked at engagement rings together. God redeems even the places and memories that once hurt. One of His greatest gifts during this season has been the friendships He has provided. I have been blessed with incredible men and women who encourage me in my faith, pray for me, and faithfully walk alongside me through life’s joys and disappointments.
Recently, in an eschatology class, our teacher asked: Do you truly long for Christ’s return? Sometimes when life is comfortable, we forget to long for Him. As hard as suffering is, I’m thankful it has taught me to place my hope more on Christ and His return — when we will be with Him forever and receive glorified bodies free from pain and suffering (Philippians 3:20-21, Revelation 21:4).
A few weeks ago, Horizon (Praxis’s young adult group at CCAC) went through Romans 5:3–5, which reminds us that suffering produces endurance, endurance produces character, and character produces hope. One of the discussion questions was: How does character lead to hope?
After taking an eschatology class that covered the Ordo Salutis (Order of Salvation) and walking through various trials, this is how I would answer the question:
When we suffer and endure—not by relying on ourselves, but by depending on Christ and learning what He wants to teach us—we grow in godly character (1 Peter 1:6–7). Godly character is eternal, unlike the possessions and achievements of this world. There is hope in knowing that through suffering, God is sanctifying us and conforming us more into the image of Christ as we work out our salvation. As we see His faithfulness in the midst of our trials, our confidence grows that He who began a good work in us will bring it to completion. That is why character produces hope.
The older I get, the more I realize that the most important thing is not the things of this earth, but becoming more like Him. At the same time, I know that God is a good Father who does not withhold any truly good thing from His children (Psalm 84:11). Even when He says “not yet” or “not in the way we expected,” we can trust that His wisdom, timing, and purposes are always for our good and His glory.
My counselor shared something that really encouraged me. Se said, “If you are choosing someone to do life with, you want someone who has been through the storm,” and 2 Corinthians 1:3–4 reflects that well.
I know that if I were already employed and married, it would probably be harder for me to minister to some of the people God has placed in my life right now. Even in suffering, God has given me opportunities to encourage others, share the gospel, and point people to Christ.
So fellow saint, I want to encourage you to press on and run the race faithfully. Live for what is eternal, share the gospel, invest in eternity, and steward your time and service for God’s glory.
I know this post is getting long, but despite everything, this birthday turned out to be one of the most fun and memorable birthdays I’ve ever had—much like last year. The Rams mascot even sang “Happy Birthday” to me, which definitely wasn’t on my birthday bingo card!
A huge thank you to Mark for sending out the invites, creating the trivia game, and coordinating with the restaurant. Thank you to Emily for the cake and thoughtful gifts, and to Anastasia for the gifts as well. Thank you, Lauren for the card and Tim for picking up the cake! I’m so grateful to everyone who made the trip all the way to Downtown LA to celebrate with me and for treating me to such a lovely meal. I was blessed to celebrate with brothers and sisters in Christ from both my former church and current church, as well as friends from outside of church.
I’m also thankful to Linda and Greg for surprising me with desserts on Saturday, and to Brittani and Cary for the lovely gift.
Thank you, Susan, for faithfully discipling me and for treating me to a birthday lunch at Matsui.
Thank you to my sister and brother-in-law for the K-beauty skincare gifts!
And of course, thank you to my parents for treating me to Benihana and for their constant love, support, and encouragement throughout the years.
I feel incredibly blessed by the people God has placed in my life. Your kindness, generosity, encouragement, and friendship have meant so much to me, especially during this season. Most of all, thank you to everyone who celebrated with me, prayed for me, encouraged me, and walked alongside me during this season. Your friendship has been one of God’s greatest blessings in my life, and I am incredibly grateful for each of you.
Walking Not By Sight 